It's now about a month into the school year and I think I'm starting to get the hang of everything. I no longer feel like I have a thousand new questions each day to ask someone about and my classes have finally gotten into a good groove and routine which makes class planning so much easier. The best part of it all is that my principal, apparently, thinks I'm doing a great job and is being super helpful and supportive.
Not everything has been smooth sailing. I've already had something stolen by a student. Luckily he went around bragging about it and they found him. He wasn't one of my students which was great to find out, but still not the best experience a new teacher could have. On second thought, maybe it was - call it a reality check.
By the way, it is extremely true that teachers hear some of the most amazing things from their students every day. Here's just a sample:
ME: Okay, everyone at measure 69. Ready, go . . . (silence)
STUDENT: Wait, were we supposed to be singing?
Monday
ME: What are we going to have on Wednesday?
STUDENTS: A quiz.
Tuesday
ME: What are we having tomorrow?
STUDENTS: A quiz.
Wednesday
ME: Get out a sheet of paper and get ready.
STUDENT: Wait, we're having a quiz?
Day of Parent-Teacher Conferences
STUDENT: (to a friend) I can't talk. I have to be good so Mr. Davis says good things about me to my parents tonight.
ME: Yes, because one day is going to make such a big difference on your record.
STUDENT: (said as fast as humanly possible) I really love music and being in orchestra and choir it's so much fun and I don't know if you knew or figured it out or if someone told you or anything but I have ADHD so that's why I have so much energy all the time and have a hard time staying still but luckily I have you first period and so I don't have as much energy then but just in case you didn't already know.
ME: Trust me, I knew.
That's just a tidbit. Anyways, I find that I already have had to plan out the Christmas concerts and so not only have I been busy listening to all the music I can to figure out a programme but I've also had to write a couple of arrangements myself. When you get to a point that you just desperately want to perform this particular piece but can't find a decent arrangement anywhere you decide it would be easier just to write it yourself. It's fortuitous, really, because then if anybody else is trying to plan a Christmas concert or programme then this post is pretty timely. Let me know what you think. It's a pretty simple arrangement but I didn't want to do too much to it. It's meant for a beginning choir so that's why the harmonies repeat quite a bit. Hopefully everyone else's year is starting out just as eventful as mine!
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
28 September 2014
16 July 2014
One Sizzling Summer
This has been quite the summer so far. First off, I have the best job in the world! I get paid to dress like a pioneer every day and make music with some amazing people and sometimes even get paid to go to things like Fantasy Con and promote the park (hence the picture). That was particularly interesting since I even got to add the make-up factor to my costuming. And the people watching. The people-watching at Fantasy Con was quite good and I was impressed with how open and comfortable everyone was. Unfortunately some of the girls got particularly comfortable at the store located next to our booth that sold bustiers and corsets. No comment.Then, just to underscore how cool the people I work with are, we had a big murder mystery party, with costumes and all, and had a little too much fun figuring out why our co-worker was dead. I love murder mystery parties!
Well, I suppose there is one thing, but it's just that sometimes I get so fatigued from being out in the sun all day that I have very little energy when I make it home. That reflects itself in the fact that I haven't posted in a very long time, especially with music. I try, but it just doesn't happen sometimes. Because of that I sometimes feel like I've completely neglected this blog which is sad when the whole reason I started it was to force myself to step out of my comfort zone and compose things frequently. Sigh.
But I've finally finished another piece! Originally it was supposed to be a choral piece but I recorded it as a string piece and it's going to be for my musical I'm writing. It's only about half of the song, but something is better than nothing right now and at least this time I fiddled and actually wrote my fiddlings down which means I'll be more likely to come back and finish it later.
Again, please let me know what you think and I hope everyone is having an absolutely awesome summer! (Despite the heat. Horrible, horrible heat lately in Utah. Ugh.) :)
02 July 2014
Life Goes On
It's been a busy few months and I feel like I haven't accomplished a lot, even though I know that's not necessarily the case. I guess I'll just start at the beginning and work up till now.
I finished school! I am so excited to officially have my bachelor's! There was an intense amount of drama associated with my graduation but it all worked out in the end. It always puts such a downer on such a big accomplishment when a couple bad seeds in a department decide they simply don't want you to graduate but I've learned a lot through the process and it hasn't hindered my overwhelming love of Utah State one bit!
After that was all finalised I also landed my first "big-boy" job teaching choir at Sand Ridge Junior High. Yep, junior high schoolers. The final frontier that many only deign to survive in the education world. I'm actually really excited. Just this week I saw my new classroom for the first time and, though definitely a product of the 70's, it's a good space. I have a long way to go until the room is ready and no longer feels like my predecessor's room but for right now I'm considering it a work in progress.
Although my new school is near Ogden I've actually just moved to a new house in Midvale, which to many seems crazy but I promise I know what I'm doing. It's going to work out great. Besides, I love this house so much that I really don't care about the commute sometimes! Plus I have my own music room delineated from the rest of the house where I can work on school stuff, continue writing and arranging (which I promise I'll get back to soon), and start teaching private lessons. It makes me happy. ;)
Speaking of lessons, if anyone knows of anyone looking for a private voice teacher in the south Salt Lake area send them my way. There aren't a lot of music stores around for me to submit my name as a voice teacher and I don't know many locals so word of mouth will be important to me.
This is long post about a lot of boring things, but I'm feeling lucky and on-the-ball that I've even thought to post at all lately. I'm also totally willing to work on any arrangements for church or other things that people would like me to do so please hit me up. Thanks for reading!
I finished school! I am so excited to officially have my bachelor's! There was an intense amount of drama associated with my graduation but it all worked out in the end. It always puts such a downer on such a big accomplishment when a couple bad seeds in a department decide they simply don't want you to graduate but I've learned a lot through the process and it hasn't hindered my overwhelming love of Utah State one bit!
After that was all finalised I also landed my first "big-boy" job teaching choir at Sand Ridge Junior High. Yep, junior high schoolers. The final frontier that many only deign to survive in the education world. I'm actually really excited. Just this week I saw my new classroom for the first time and, though definitely a product of the 70's, it's a good space. I have a long way to go until the room is ready and no longer feels like my predecessor's room but for right now I'm considering it a work in progress.
Although my new school is near Ogden I've actually just moved to a new house in Midvale, which to many seems crazy but I promise I know what I'm doing. It's going to work out great. Besides, I love this house so much that I really don't care about the commute sometimes! Plus I have my own music room delineated from the rest of the house where I can work on school stuff, continue writing and arranging (which I promise I'll get back to soon), and start teaching private lessons. It makes me happy. ;)
Speaking of lessons, if anyone knows of anyone looking for a private voice teacher in the south Salt Lake area send them my way. There aren't a lot of music stores around for me to submit my name as a voice teacher and I don't know many locals so word of mouth will be important to me.
This is long post about a lot of boring things, but I'm feeling lucky and on-the-ball that I've even thought to post at all lately. I'm also totally willing to work on any arrangements for church or other things that people would like me to do so please hit me up. Thanks for reading!
06 April 2014
I'm Not Dead . . . Yet
For some reason I had this idea in my head that I would get more time to work on music and such during my student teaching and yet such has not been the case. Shocker, I know, but I figured I may as well post something so that I don't accidentally forget and neglect my blog altogether.
I have to admit, though, that student teaching has been awesome so far. I'm almost done and by the end of April it will all be behind me. I was a little nervous for a little while since I had talked to some friends who said that, following their student teaching, they weren't sure they wanted to go into education after all. I don't know what else I would be doing if it weren't teaching and, thankfully, I look forward to going to the junior high every single day. That's a good sign.
Now I'm not saying that every moment is pure gold. Surely it is not. There are some days where I feel like the end of the school day can't come soon enough. But there are those moments when a student says or does something that leaves you feeling you're a huge success and then suddenly you can keep going for another two or three weeks without wanting to kill the children!
Needless to say I don't have much to talk about today, but I'm hoping that come May I'll have some more time to do some writing and get to blogging more frequently again. Thanks to all those who keep reading! It helps when you know others are seeing what you're putting out there into cyberspace. If you have your own blog, you know!
I have to admit, though, that student teaching has been awesome so far. I'm almost done and by the end of April it will all be behind me. I was a little nervous for a little while since I had talked to some friends who said that, following their student teaching, they weren't sure they wanted to go into education after all. I don't know what else I would be doing if it weren't teaching and, thankfully, I look forward to going to the junior high every single day. That's a good sign.
Now I'm not saying that every moment is pure gold. Surely it is not. There are some days where I feel like the end of the school day can't come soon enough. But there are those moments when a student says or does something that leaves you feeling you're a huge success and then suddenly you can keep going for another two or three weeks without wanting to kill the children!
Needless to say I don't have much to talk about today, but I'm hoping that come May I'll have some more time to do some writing and get to blogging more frequently again. Thanks to all those who keep reading! It helps when you know others are seeing what you're putting out there into cyberspace. If you have your own blog, you know!
22 November 2013
Lights!
I don't know what happened this week but it was crazy. Somehow after consecutive late rehearsals with the choirs and orchestras I was able to complete a 4 page paper, read two novella for class, compiled a resume, had an interview, represented the college in two recruiting trips, and may still have time for pie tonight. Thank heavens next week is Thanksgiving.
Late rehearsals for what you ask? I have to admit, as time consuming it has been, I've been lucky to have the great opportunity to perform with the USU Symphony Orchestra Holst's Hymn of Jesus and Scriabin's Prometheus. Some people may have no idea what that means. Here's the nitty gritty.
Scriabin was a legitimately crazy Russian composer. I say crazy because he thought he was God. He thought this so much that his final piece, Mysterium, was meant to bring about Armageddon. Clearly it didn't and Scriabin is long dead. The coolest part is that he liked to experiment with other senses in combination with music, so in our case he intended Prometheus to be performed with a light show but due to the lack of technology in the early 20th century that never happened. However many universities are trying to bring this to life lately and Utah State is the next to do so!
All these pictures are from a rehearsal last night so you can see the sort of things they're doing with these lights. The music is beautiful though highly neo-tonal and the lights are notated in the score with each colour and effect correlating to a particular note or key. Sure, this performance runs the risk of giving people headaches, but those without those intolerances are in for a spectacular evening! It may not be the most exciting thing I've been a part of, but I have to admit this is pretty cool!
Late rehearsals for what you ask? I have to admit, as time consuming it has been, I've been lucky to have the great opportunity to perform with the USU Symphony Orchestra Holst's Hymn of Jesus and Scriabin's Prometheus. Some people may have no idea what that means. Here's the nitty gritty.
Scriabin was a legitimately crazy Russian composer. I say crazy because he thought he was God. He thought this so much that his final piece, Mysterium, was meant to bring about Armageddon. Clearly it didn't and Scriabin is long dead. The coolest part is that he liked to experiment with other senses in combination with music, so in our case he intended Prometheus to be performed with a light show but due to the lack of technology in the early 20th century that never happened. However many universities are trying to bring this to life lately and Utah State is the next to do so!
All these pictures are from a rehearsal last night so you can see the sort of things they're doing with these lights. The music is beautiful though highly neo-tonal and the lights are notated in the score with each colour and effect correlating to a particular note or key. Sure, this performance runs the risk of giving people headaches, but those without those intolerances are in for a spectacular evening! It may not be the most exciting thing I've been a part of, but I have to admit this is pretty cool!30 October 2013
Almost Halloween!
Here it is, the day before Halloween, and I'm sitting at a computer in a lab on campus finishing yet another project. I don't know about anyone else, but it always seems that about this point of the semester is the time when you feel like you do nothing but homework in the vain hope that one day you will be free. Let me know if that day ever comes for any of you.
I mentioned in an earlier post how I'm not the biggest fan of Halloween, though I will admit that I agreed to go to a friend's party tomorrow and I am a little excited to go. I wish I wasn't expected to dress up (I have this mentality on costumes: if you can't do it well, why bother?) but it should still be way fun. Maybe I'll post a picture or two of it later, should I actually think to take any, that is.
This song has nothing to do with Halloween, however, so hopefully that's not too much of a downer for those listening to it. It's my first attempt at orchestrating for near full orchestra (no percussion yet) and it took me ages to complete this project for my class. It's a rendition of Debussy's Sunken Cathedral which I feel sounds amazing on piano already which made this project tricky. Hopefully it sounds good.
There were some who were wondering about getting copies of some of my pieces, particularly the last one, so if you want any either email me or, if I already know you, message me on Facebook and I'm more than willing to give you the pdf of anything. Thanks!
24 October 2013
Stress Relief for the Holidays
Yet again it seems as though the holiday season is upon us. Although I'm not the biggest fan of Halloween at least I can appreciate the time of year it rings in. Yay, Christmas! :)
Not that everything is always so joyous and wonderful. Just this week I failed to pass on my recital preview at university which is a major disappointment. That doesn't mean I won't graduate because I do get to try again though I don't know when at this point, but it also doesn't change the fact that it hurt a bit. Mostly I've been trying not to think about it.
However, I will mention one thing that I've blogged about before: how great my friends are! As soon as I got the news my friends became the biggest support to me and it meant so much that they were there when I needed them!
With all that going on I haven't been much in the mood to practice voice quite yet so I've filled my time fulfilling an obligation I committed to a couple of months ago. I have a friend who was recently assigned as her church choir director and she asked if I could do an arrangement of Joy to the World and O Come All Ye Faithful together and, until now, I haven't had much time to do it. Guess what I did this week instead of practice? ;) It's been a good stress relief and I hope that I did what she was hoping for. If not I suppose it will be back to the drawing board. The parts are mainly derived from the LDS Hymn book and it's not anything amazing, just simple and intended for a congregational choir. As with most pieces I post here, I'm sure this will sound much better in real life.
Joy to the World / O Come All Ye Faithful - Arr.
Not that everything is always so joyous and wonderful. Just this week I failed to pass on my recital preview at university which is a major disappointment. That doesn't mean I won't graduate because I do get to try again though I don't know when at this point, but it also doesn't change the fact that it hurt a bit. Mostly I've been trying not to think about it.
However, I will mention one thing that I've blogged about before: how great my friends are! As soon as I got the news my friends became the biggest support to me and it meant so much that they were there when I needed them!
With all that going on I haven't been much in the mood to practice voice quite yet so I've filled my time fulfilling an obligation I committed to a couple of months ago. I have a friend who was recently assigned as her church choir director and she asked if I could do an arrangement of Joy to the World and O Come All Ye Faithful together and, until now, I haven't had much time to do it. Guess what I did this week instead of practice? ;) It's been a good stress relief and I hope that I did what she was hoping for. If not I suppose it will be back to the drawing board. The parts are mainly derived from the LDS Hymn book and it's not anything amazing, just simple and intended for a congregational choir. As with most pieces I post here, I'm sure this will sound much better in real life.
Joy to the World / O Come All Ye Faithful - Arr.
17 September 2013
Back to School
So here we are, back to school and just a few weeks into the semester. At least for most people. This is my final year of school and I can openly admit that I already find myself saying each Monday morning "Three weeks down - twelve to go". Is this a bad sign? I'll assume not until further notice.
One thing great about school, though, is getting to see all my friends again. I love the weirdos I get to associate with! It doesn't make me feel normal, per se, but I do feel less conspicuous around them. Just last night we got together just to share cheesecake and ended up laughing hysterically on the floor for hours. It was epic!
Contrary to what has been my norm for the last few years, I actually do not have very many music classes this semester. I don't know what to make of that. One of my few music courses is Orchestration, something I find fascinating. I've really been getting excited for our assignments in this class so I can play around a bit with writing for specific instruments besides piano and voice. We're not allowed tons of creativity (i.e. this is not an arrangement class, purely orchestration) but that's okay with me since I'm still learning a lot.
This is my "final" draft of our first assignment. It's the opening segment of Edvard Grieg's Elfin Dance for string ensemble. I didn't do anything over the top, but I didn't really want to. I kind of like the lightness this has. Anyways, let me know what you think.
Elfin Dance - Edvard Grieg (String Arr.)
Also, in regards to my last post, I still would really love some stories or other such ideas from other people to help me write the libretto for my increasingly pipe dream-esque musical. Don't want to seem pushy, just want to make a pleasant reminder. That is all. :)
One thing great about school, though, is getting to see all my friends again. I love the weirdos I get to associate with! It doesn't make me feel normal, per se, but I do feel less conspicuous around them. Just last night we got together just to share cheesecake and ended up laughing hysterically on the floor for hours. It was epic!
Contrary to what has been my norm for the last few years, I actually do not have very many music classes this semester. I don't know what to make of that. One of my few music courses is Orchestration, something I find fascinating. I've really been getting excited for our assignments in this class so I can play around a bit with writing for specific instruments besides piano and voice. We're not allowed tons of creativity (i.e. this is not an arrangement class, purely orchestration) but that's okay with me since I'm still learning a lot.
This is my "final" draft of our first assignment. It's the opening segment of Edvard Grieg's Elfin Dance for string ensemble. I didn't do anything over the top, but I didn't really want to. I kind of like the lightness this has. Anyways, let me know what you think.
Elfin Dance - Edvard Grieg (String Arr.)
Also, in regards to my last post, I still would really love some stories or other such ideas from other people to help me write the libretto for my increasingly pipe dream-esque musical. Don't want to seem pushy, just want to make a pleasant reminder. That is all. :)
28 July 2013
Book & Blog
It's hard to believe sometimes that summers are never quite so long as you would like them to be. In some ways I'm excited because the closer the school year comes the closer I am to finally being a college graduate. But in others I wish it could continue indefinitely.
At least I can't really say I haven't done anything interesting this summer. It's not often that you have a group of friends willing to do highly unusual activities in public, such as going to movies in your work clothes (it doesn't sound weird, but when you consider I work at a pioneer park it raises the peculiar factor of it all a few degrees). The only thing I wish I could do more of is write music, but with a computer completely down and an overarching laziness that makes me unlikely to notate the good old-fashioned way, it doesn't really happen.
And so instead I guess I should probably start trying to actually write the book/libretto (music training in me begs that use the formal word) of my musical. Not that I'm so far advanced in writing the music, but that I should at least get an idea of the sequence of events so that I can figure out where musical numbers should be placed. Mostly the show, PRIDE, is going to be loosely inspired off events in my life since I'm only ever good at retelling and satirising true stories.
Speaking of stories, does anyone have a story in their life when you didn't feel as though you were being true to yourself or had lost all confidence in you or your abilities? I would love some input and other ideas to possibly incorporate into the book. Granted I don't actually know how many people actually read my blog. I feel a little like Amy Adams in Julie & Julia when she wonders what her audience really is on her blog. Am I currently watching that show? Yes. Does it make me want to cook and blog? Very much so. Anyway, comment or email or what have you if you want to help at all. Maybe here in the future I can even post rough drafts of the script! ;)
At least I can't really say I haven't done anything interesting this summer. It's not often that you have a group of friends willing to do highly unusual activities in public, such as going to movies in your work clothes (it doesn't sound weird, but when you consider I work at a pioneer park it raises the peculiar factor of it all a few degrees). The only thing I wish I could do more of is write music, but with a computer completely down and an overarching laziness that makes me unlikely to notate the good old-fashioned way, it doesn't really happen.
And so instead I guess I should probably start trying to actually write the book/libretto (music training in me begs that use the formal word) of my musical. Not that I'm so far advanced in writing the music, but that I should at least get an idea of the sequence of events so that I can figure out where musical numbers should be placed. Mostly the show, PRIDE, is going to be loosely inspired off events in my life since I'm only ever good at retelling and satirising true stories.
Speaking of stories, does anyone have a story in their life when you didn't feel as though you were being true to yourself or had lost all confidence in you or your abilities? I would love some input and other ideas to possibly incorporate into the book. Granted I don't actually know how many people actually read my blog. I feel a little like Amy Adams in Julie & Julia when she wonders what her audience really is on her blog. Am I currently watching that show? Yes. Does it make me want to cook and blog? Very much so. Anyway, comment or email or what have you if you want to help at all. Maybe here in the future I can even post rough drafts of the script! ;)
05 July 2013
The Power of Friends
Sometimes I feel like I have the most active social life when I'm sitting at home alone on the 4th of July because the person I thought I had plans with told me otherwise with one days' notice. Ever have that happen? Don't get me wrong, I have lots of friends, but when you have not much time it's hard to make much plan (yes, I know how that sounds). I decided to at least be a little productive and actually post at least twice in a single summer month! Look at me being all wise with my time (I say after having just turned off Food Network following a three hour stint)!
To those who actually read and comment on things, that really helps me out a great deal. Obviously if my goal is to write a musical, even if it never hits broadway, I want to at least know what people are thinking of the rough drafts I develop. I still wish I could actually get some live recordings with vocals of some of this stuff so it's not all so lackluster, but c'est la vie ("La vie!" :))
Earlier in March I posted a rough draft of a song I named "Call Me" from this same musical Pride I've been working on. I finally got around to playing around with some ideas for lyrics. I mentioned in the original post that the song idea and melody came to me when I was half asleep, well that included lyrics as well. Unfortunately even the next morning I forgot nearly all the lyrics that had come to my head. They may not have even been that interesting anyway - I was half unconscious at the time, for crying out loud! The only things that stuck were the first two lines of the chorus, which is why they repeat. Keep in mind also that this is a rough draft, so don't be too harsh.
One thing I've noticed is that I'm not that good at creating stories (unless they're stories like Lewis Carroll would write, because I'm really good at nonsense stories - maybe one day I'll post "The Adventures of the Peach and the Apricot"), however I'm decent at satirizing my own life or reworking experiences I am highly familiar with. Lyrics sort of follow the same suit. This is one reason why it can be hard for me to share things because, when it comes to stuff for this show, it's automatically kind of personal. I just want to help others out from the things that I've learned, and this song is meant to give the sort of advice I received from many great friends in my life.
When life hits us hard we often just see all the bad.
It leaves us so frightened, bitter, so angry and sad.
Sometimes when that hits
It's easy to give up,
To throw in the towel,
But, buddy, please don't shut me out.
I'm reaching out.
Call me, call me when the sun goes down.
Call me, call me when the lights go out.
I know you're feeling alone,
You're feeling lost and depressed,
Just know I'm here by your side
And that I'll never rest
To see you safely home.
No, you're not alone.
I've watched you so long, I've seen you have courage, be strong.
To see you like this, I have to admit - it seems wrong.
What happened to joy?
What happened to laughter?
Denying yourself,
Ignoring our pleas and our shouts,
Please just reach out.
Call me, call me when the sun goes down.
Call me, call me when the lights go out.
I know you're feeling alone,
But that's so far from what's real.
You have your friends by your side,
And if you'll just kneel
And ask Him for that peace,
You'll feel that happy release.
Call me, I'll be there by your side.
Never surrender.
Keep smiling through.
Call me.
These are a few pictures of some of my amazing friends who have given this sort of advice to me in the last couple of years. Yes, I'm aware the pictures aren't the greatest, but I suppose that can also protect the identities of the innocent! :)
To those who actually read and comment on things, that really helps me out a great deal. Obviously if my goal is to write a musical, even if it never hits broadway, I want to at least know what people are thinking of the rough drafts I develop. I still wish I could actually get some live recordings with vocals of some of this stuff so it's not all so lackluster, but c'est la vie ("La vie!" :))
Earlier in March I posted a rough draft of a song I named "Call Me" from this same musical Pride I've been working on. I finally got around to playing around with some ideas for lyrics. I mentioned in the original post that the song idea and melody came to me when I was half asleep, well that included lyrics as well. Unfortunately even the next morning I forgot nearly all the lyrics that had come to my head. They may not have even been that interesting anyway - I was half unconscious at the time, for crying out loud! The only things that stuck were the first two lines of the chorus, which is why they repeat. Keep in mind also that this is a rough draft, so don't be too harsh.
One thing I've noticed is that I'm not that good at creating stories (unless they're stories like Lewis Carroll would write, because I'm really good at nonsense stories - maybe one day I'll post "The Adventures of the Peach and the Apricot"), however I'm decent at satirizing my own life or reworking experiences I am highly familiar with. Lyrics sort of follow the same suit. This is one reason why it can be hard for me to share things because, when it comes to stuff for this show, it's automatically kind of personal. I just want to help others out from the things that I've learned, and this song is meant to give the sort of advice I received from many great friends in my life.
When life hits us hard we often just see all the bad.
It leaves us so frightened, bitter, so angry and sad.
Sometimes when that hits
It's easy to give up,
To throw in the towel,
But, buddy, please don't shut me out.
I'm reaching out.
Call me, call me when the sun goes down.
Call me, call me when the lights go out.
I know you're feeling alone,
You're feeling lost and depressed,
Just know I'm here by your side
And that I'll never rest
To see you safely home.
No, you're not alone.
I've watched you so long, I've seen you have courage, be strong.
To see you like this, I have to admit - it seems wrong.
What happened to joy?
What happened to laughter?
Denying yourself,
Ignoring our pleas and our shouts,
Please just reach out.
Call me, call me when the sun goes down.
Call me, call me when the lights go out.
I know you're feeling alone,
But that's so far from what's real.
You have your friends by your side,
And if you'll just kneel
And ask Him for that peace,
You'll feel that happy release.
Call me, I'll be there by your side.
Never surrender.
Keep smiling through.
Call me.
These are a few pictures of some of my amazing friends who have given this sort of advice to me in the last couple of years. Yes, I'm aware the pictures aren't the greatest, but I suppose that can also protect the identities of the innocent! :)
10 June 2013
No More Secrets
Once there was a boy who grew up in a small town. There was nothing particularly interesting or special about him, he was much like any other small town boy. He was bright and his parents liked to think of him as the smartest in school. He always tried his best to make his parents proud and accomplish everything they had ever dreamed for him.
He served a mission. He started university. He never really misbehaved and in many ways was the model of the ideal child. His parents often told him how blessed they felt they were to have at least one child they never had to worry about. In short, life had few complaints for their family.
Then something changed. The boy was different, yet not different at all. It was simply a new complication in life. His personality didn't change. He was as kind and considerate as ever. As always, he worked to find every happiness in life for himself just as he was taught at home. In fact his friends would say that even with this change he was the same person he had always been with much the same values he had grown up with. At the same time he was now a complete disappointment to his parents. Though nothing really altered everything was different.
He was once the pride of his parents but he was now their greatest secret. They no longer wanted to hear the details of his life. The new events in his life that made him the most happy were the very things his family didn't want to know about. He wasn't a horrible person. He never drank nor smoked, never dabbled in drugs. To the outside observer he was the typical church going type. However, his family simply didn't want to know him so closely anymore.
What was this secret? Is it the most horrible tragedy that has ever befallen mankind? Is it the world's worst path of life? Some monster that must be tackled for any happiness to follow at all? What secret could be so terrible and so scandalous that a family would turn their back on their son? He was gay.
That's it. The only part of his life that changed was that instead of dreaming of a girl to share his life with he dreamed of a man. Every other solitary detail was exactly the same as when he was that innocent boy in the small town. Sure, he now preferred the hustle of the city, but his heart would always be home. But that was still enough for him to be cast away from his family. By doing so he was forced to keep massive secrets from them. So many things were moving forward for him, but they didn't care. When he would muster up the courage to talk to them, they called his life "the beginning of an end" and cried tears of loss on his behalf. He would then cry his own tears of loss at the thought of slowly losing those who were meant to show unconditional love.
He knew they didn't believe this was right, but he had always hoped they would at least try to accept him and support him in whatever ways they could. Instead it seemed like the only answer would be to add distance, something he never wanted to do.
The only thing that kept him moving was his peace of mind. For too many years he had struggled with these feelings and they had caused major depression and thoughts of suicide. Now that he had chosen to deal with everything instead of ignoring it or lying he was at last truly happy. He felt like himself, something he hadn't felt in a long time.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same,
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.
Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep,
It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap. . .
I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so.
Some things I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know.
Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost.
Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost. . .
- Stephen Schwartz
No other words could really describe his feelings. He didn't feel sorry for the things he had done, but only wished he could find some way to remain close to those he loved so dearly. He had only ever told them about everything to avoid secrets. He so desired an open relationship with his parents. He never saw any reason why the lying had to continue. But instead of creating honesty more secrets have arisen. Secrets from mother to son, from brother to sister, between coworkers and friends. A web of secrecy is now spread over the family.
Regardless, he moves forward. He wants to change others' perception of who and what he is and what the real pain of homosexuality is. Each day is new, full of hope and he never looks back. He has never been happier in his life and only wishes to share his story and experiences with others to help them understand that some people can't do what others have done and stay happy. Normal marriage isn't a viable option, neither is celibacy. But he wants the world to understand that no one option is right for every person and to let others in his situation know that it gets better and that they are far from alone. Take pride in your life and know that, so long as you can still feel God's love for you, that can be the only one that matters.
Please feel free to share this link, any advice, or any questions. It's time for things to be an open book. No more secrets.
He served a mission. He started university. He never really misbehaved and in many ways was the model of the ideal child. His parents often told him how blessed they felt they were to have at least one child they never had to worry about. In short, life had few complaints for their family.
Then something changed. The boy was different, yet not different at all. It was simply a new complication in life. His personality didn't change. He was as kind and considerate as ever. As always, he worked to find every happiness in life for himself just as he was taught at home. In fact his friends would say that even with this change he was the same person he had always been with much the same values he had grown up with. At the same time he was now a complete disappointment to his parents. Though nothing really altered everything was different.
He was once the pride of his parents but he was now their greatest secret. They no longer wanted to hear the details of his life. The new events in his life that made him the most happy were the very things his family didn't want to know about. He wasn't a horrible person. He never drank nor smoked, never dabbled in drugs. To the outside observer he was the typical church going type. However, his family simply didn't want to know him so closely anymore.
What was this secret? Is it the most horrible tragedy that has ever befallen mankind? Is it the world's worst path of life? Some monster that must be tackled for any happiness to follow at all? What secret could be so terrible and so scandalous that a family would turn their back on their son? He was gay.
That's it. The only part of his life that changed was that instead of dreaming of a girl to share his life with he dreamed of a man. Every other solitary detail was exactly the same as when he was that innocent boy in the small town. Sure, he now preferred the hustle of the city, but his heart would always be home. But that was still enough for him to be cast away from his family. By doing so he was forced to keep massive secrets from them. So many things were moving forward for him, but they didn't care. When he would muster up the courage to talk to them, they called his life "the beginning of an end" and cried tears of loss on his behalf. He would then cry his own tears of loss at the thought of slowly losing those who were meant to show unconditional love.
He knew they didn't believe this was right, but he had always hoped they would at least try to accept him and support him in whatever ways they could. Instead it seemed like the only answer would be to add distance, something he never wanted to do.
The only thing that kept him moving was his peace of mind. For too many years he had struggled with these feelings and they had caused major depression and thoughts of suicide. Now that he had chosen to deal with everything instead of ignoring it or lying he was at last truly happy. He felt like himself, something he hadn't felt in a long time.
Something has changed within me, something is not the same,
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.
Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep,
It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap. . .
I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so.
Some things I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know.
Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost.
Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost. . .
- Stephen Schwartz
No other words could really describe his feelings. He didn't feel sorry for the things he had done, but only wished he could find some way to remain close to those he loved so dearly. He had only ever told them about everything to avoid secrets. He so desired an open relationship with his parents. He never saw any reason why the lying had to continue. But instead of creating honesty more secrets have arisen. Secrets from mother to son, from brother to sister, between coworkers and friends. A web of secrecy is now spread over the family.
Regardless, he moves forward. He wants to change others' perception of who and what he is and what the real pain of homosexuality is. Each day is new, full of hope and he never looks back. He has never been happier in his life and only wishes to share his story and experiences with others to help them understand that some people can't do what others have done and stay happy. Normal marriage isn't a viable option, neither is celibacy. But he wants the world to understand that no one option is right for every person and to let others in his situation know that it gets better and that they are far from alone. Take pride in your life and know that, so long as you can still feel God's love for you, that can be the only one that matters.
Please feel free to share this link, any advice, or any questions. It's time for things to be an open book. No more secrets.
11 April 2013
Love/Hate Relationship
So I'm sitting here at my computer with every intention of doing some homework, and yet here I am blogging instead. Odd how that happens.
This month so far has been incredibly busy. Our choir, the USU Chamber Singers, just did a recording for two albums last week (which will be phenomenal, by the way) and that is exhausting work. Unless you've recorded a professional quality CD before you don't realise just how many hours it takes to lay down a handful of tracks. The end result will be totally worth it, but I was sick of doing take after take after take.
At this time, I'm finding myself less than two weeks away from my junior recital. I've discovered with this, and some related events transpiring, that I have a deep love/hate relationship with planning events. I absolutely love hosting any sort of event, be it a party, games, social, ceremony, what have you. I get such a kick from being a host, but I also get a little incredibly stressed worrying that I may have forgotten something. If you know me, you will agree that I always, and I do mean always, forget something - especially while travelling. No matter what I feel like something has slipped my mind but I can't remember what it was. That feeling increases ten-fold while planning things. It's annoying.
So it is that, amid all this potential stress welling up inside me, I blog. I don't actually have any new songs completed, but I'm nearly finished with a new choral piece. I'm really getting tired of posting MIDI files on here, so if there is anyone reading willing to do some sight-reading and give a guy a hand I would be much obliged. At the very least, I can share the lyrics that go with said song. I really like them and they actually came from my heart (I hate writing lyrics because they always feel forced - not this time!).
This month so far has been incredibly busy. Our choir, the USU Chamber Singers, just did a recording for two albums last week (which will be phenomenal, by the way) and that is exhausting work. Unless you've recorded a professional quality CD before you don't realise just how many hours it takes to lay down a handful of tracks. The end result will be totally worth it, but I was sick of doing take after take after take.
At this time, I'm finding myself less than two weeks away from my junior recital. I've discovered with this, and some related events transpiring, that I have a deep love/hate relationship with planning events. I absolutely love hosting any sort of event, be it a party, games, social, ceremony, what have you. I get such a kick from being a host, but I also get a little incredibly stressed worrying that I may have forgotten something. If you know me, you will agree that I always, and I do mean always, forget something - especially while travelling. No matter what I feel like something has slipped my mind but I can't remember what it was. That feeling increases ten-fold while planning things. It's annoying.
So it is that, amid all this potential stress welling up inside me, I blog. I don't actually have any new songs completed, but I'm nearly finished with a new choral piece. I'm really getting tired of posting MIDI files on here, so if there is anyone reading willing to do some sight-reading and give a guy a hand I would be much obliged. At the very least, I can share the lyrics that go with said song. I really like them and they actually came from my heart (I hate writing lyrics because they always feel forced - not this time!).
If
I should die tomorrow, please hold me one last time,
Let
me feel your arms around me, your heart beat close to mine.
Do
not fear for me, my love, mine is not the cause to mourn.
All
I ask is that you live your life, our life, as bravely as before.
Walk
the paths that we have trod, see the sun arise each day,
Hear
the music now surround you, smell the breezes swift and gay.
Do
not weep for me, my love, mine is not a fate to fear.
Promise
me you'll savour every day for I will always be there.
That
music, my music, will never leave your side,
For
I've already claimed a spot as your angel and it is there I'll ever
abide.
Nothing else incredibly important nor humourous to say, but I think that will suffice. Happy Almost-the-End-of-the-Semester, everyone!
28 March 2013
Happy Easter!
If you're anything like me, you've been bombarded this week on Facebook and elsewhere in the media about gay marriage. Don't worry, I'm not using this as an opportunity to shove even more politics down your throat, but I do have some things I want to say about this seemingly endless debate.
First off, yes I am in support of gay marriage, but life will go on regardless what the courts decide. That's one thing I didn't mind seeing on Facebook: people simply stating their opinions and beliefs so others know. That is perfectly fine and no one is ever offended. Even just the red "equality" signs all around were very simple and peaceful ways to express views.
What I didn't enjoy seeing was the fighting and arguing between sides. No one party was more guilty than another, but they worked together to bring a horrible spirit and general anguish to everyone's Facebook page this week. I'm certain not one person wanted to post a simple declaration of belief in the morning and come back later to see two of their "friends" battling over which opinion was "right". In what world is this okay?
To those in support of gay marriage - Please stop viewing everything as an argument waiting to happen. Just because others do not feel the same way doesn't mean they're trying to hurt you or are filled with hate. Accept these differences and move on. You are helping no one's case by lashing out every chance you get.
To those in support of traditional marriage - I appreciate your views and opinions and understand where they're coming from. You have every right to feel the way you do. You do not, however, have the right to post comments and scriptures on your wall intended to cut down or demean those who feel differently than you. Do not declare to all of these individuals, many your own "friends", that they are led away by Satan because they're opinion is not the same. Do you realise just how many people you hurt and drive away? Did you not read the LDS Church's official response to this week? They made their stance clear but tread on no one to make it so:
This weekend is Easter, a time we celebrate our Saviour and the amazing gifts he bestowed on us. Even for those who are not Christians, Easter and spring still bring feelings of brotherly love and tranquility. Have we not all done enough already to destroy that this week? In one way or another, we are all brothers and sisters. We share relationships with others to build each other up and feel loved and welcome, like a safe haven from a storm. We have this world to share, but if all we want to do is bicker among ourselves how can we ever hope to get along day to day? Christ did indeed teach love, respect, and tolerance. Why is it we often neglect our own actions and not follow that simple, perfect example?
As an Easter gift, here is an arrangement I wrote of my favourite hymn, "In Humility, Our Saviour". Let's remember what this time of year is supposed to be about and continue to practice love, tolerance, and kindness to all those around us. Lift an individual, never tear them down. Yay, Easter!
In Humility, Our Saviour
First off, yes I am in support of gay marriage, but life will go on regardless what the courts decide. That's one thing I didn't mind seeing on Facebook: people simply stating their opinions and beliefs so others know. That is perfectly fine and no one is ever offended. Even just the red "equality" signs all around were very simple and peaceful ways to express views.
What I didn't enjoy seeing was the fighting and arguing between sides. No one party was more guilty than another, but they worked together to bring a horrible spirit and general anguish to everyone's Facebook page this week. I'm certain not one person wanted to post a simple declaration of belief in the morning and come back later to see two of their "friends" battling over which opinion was "right". In what world is this okay?
To those in support of gay marriage - Please stop viewing everything as an argument waiting to happen. Just because others do not feel the same way doesn't mean they're trying to hurt you or are filled with hate. Accept these differences and move on. You are helping no one's case by lashing out every chance you get.
To those in support of traditional marriage - I appreciate your views and opinions and understand where they're coming from. You have every right to feel the way you do. You do not, however, have the right to post comments and scriptures on your wall intended to cut down or demean those who feel differently than you. Do not declare to all of these individuals, many your own "friends", that they are led away by Satan because they're opinion is not the same. Do you realise just how many people you hurt and drive away? Did you not read the LDS Church's official response to this week? They made their stance clear but tread on no one to make it so:
"As a church, our doctrinal position is clear: any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong, and we define marriage as between a man and a woman. However, that should never, ever be used as justification for unkindness. Jesus Christ, whom we follow, was clear in His condemnation of sexual immorality, but never cruel. His interest was always to lift the individual, never to tear down." - Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints official statement
As an Easter gift, here is an arrangement I wrote of my favourite hymn, "In Humility, Our Saviour". Let's remember what this time of year is supposed to be about and continue to practice love, tolerance, and kindness to all those around us. Lift an individual, never tear them down. Yay, Easter!
In Humility, Our Saviour
18 March 2013
ACDA and Choir Nerd-dom
 |
| Composer John Rutter |
I also watched a documentary on composer Morten Lauridsen and since have come to feel that he is one of the great treasures of American choral music. He is such a humble and simple man who loves to live among beauty and write that into his music. If you've never heard him before, now would be the time to YouTube him, particularly his pieces "O Magnum Mysterium" and "Sure on this Shining Night".
 |
| A really amazing chandelier at the Dallas Opera house! |
 |
| My friend Mandie and I with composer Ola Gjeilo |
 |
| My creeper shot of composer Eric Whitacre |
Best week EVER!
 |
| Meyerson Symphony Hall |
 |
| The Dallas Winspear Opera House |
10 March 2013
My Point is . . .
I'm sure a lot of people have looked at the title of my blog and wondered "What the heck is 'musique fierte?'" It's a little snooty of me, but it's French for "Music Pride" - I chose French mainly because I decided that any English title sounded a bit mundane for music purposes. :)
I chose "music pride" for two main reasons. First: as I've mentioned before I've always wanted to write a musical. I've attempted two other times, actually. The first one was to be called "Nichola & Garredd" and I was writing it with a friend; that's the show the Overture I posted came from. It never made it very far, but my second attempt fell apart even sooner since I hardly had any songs written before I gave up on it. It was meant to be a story of a bunch of young single adults living and learning in Logan. Clearly that worked. It went by the wayside when I felt impressed to write something else, something I'm trying to work on now.
Which leads me to reason number two: this other musical is meant to address something I feel all music could, should, and more often than not does do and that is heal. I think just about any music can be a source of healing for a person, but especially when it's written to that specific intent.
Today, since it's my birthday (yay!), I wanted to post something different. These are "lyrics", for lack of a better term, for what I would like to be the opening number of the new show I'm working on. I have no idea what the music will sound like, but these words put into words how I feel about life sometimes.
"Life is always full of surprises.
That's a common fact, but if there's one thing we need to learn about those surprises, it's that they can completely ruin our plans.
You know those plans, right?
You've had them since you were little.
Your parents have, too.
In school, they had you call those plans "Dreams".
They taught classes on Dreams.
They always started with the same questions.
'What do you want to be when you grow up?'
'Where do you want to go to school?'
'What do you want to study?'
'What do you want to find in a girl or boy?'
'Want'
It's always about 'want'.
They teach you that Wants and Dreams are the same.
Life has something else to say about that.
Life says that Dreams need to meet Reality.
Funny thing, Reality.
It's very unforgiving.
Before too long, Dreams find themselves in tatters on the floor.
Your dreams, usually.
But sometimes your parents' dreams, too.
That's when Pain rears its ugly head.
But I've found there's one thing - the only thing, really - that can ban Pain from Life and reshape Dreams, and that's
Pride.
Not pious, not ego-driven.
Just sustaining, courage-breathing, self- and God-accepting
Pride."
You, whomever is reading this, may have different ideas, but these thoughts get me through my day sometimes. I want my music to have this sort of effect on people so that more people can find that "Pride" for themselves and realise that life is good and they can make it. I guess that's kind of my whole point to this blog. I'm not doing it for selfish reasons, that's not why I want my music out there, I want to make a difference in even a few lives and then it's all worth it.
I chose "music pride" for two main reasons. First: as I've mentioned before I've always wanted to write a musical. I've attempted two other times, actually. The first one was to be called "Nichola & Garredd" and I was writing it with a friend; that's the show the Overture I posted came from. It never made it very far, but my second attempt fell apart even sooner since I hardly had any songs written before I gave up on it. It was meant to be a story of a bunch of young single adults living and learning in Logan. Clearly that worked. It went by the wayside when I felt impressed to write something else, something I'm trying to work on now.
Which leads me to reason number two: this other musical is meant to address something I feel all music could, should, and more often than not does do and that is heal. I think just about any music can be a source of healing for a person, but especially when it's written to that specific intent.Today, since it's my birthday (yay!), I wanted to post something different. These are "lyrics", for lack of a better term, for what I would like to be the opening number of the new show I'm working on. I have no idea what the music will sound like, but these words put into words how I feel about life sometimes.
"Life is always full of surprises.
That's a common fact, but if there's one thing we need to learn about those surprises, it's that they can completely ruin our plans.
You know those plans, right?
You've had them since you were little.
Your parents have, too.
In school, they had you call those plans "Dreams".
They taught classes on Dreams.
They always started with the same questions.
'What do you want to be when you grow up?'
'Where do you want to go to school?'
'What do you want to study?'
'What do you want to find in a girl or boy?'
'Want'
It's always about 'want'.
They teach you that Wants and Dreams are the same.
Life has something else to say about that.
Life says that Dreams need to meet Reality.
Funny thing, Reality.
It's very unforgiving.
Before too long, Dreams find themselves in tatters on the floor.
Your dreams, usually.
But sometimes your parents' dreams, too.
That's when Pain rears its ugly head.
But I've found there's one thing - the only thing, really - that can ban Pain from Life and reshape Dreams, and that's
Pride.
Not pious, not ego-driven.
Just sustaining, courage-breathing, self- and God-accepting
Pride."
You, whomever is reading this, may have different ideas, but these thoughts get me through my day sometimes. I want my music to have this sort of effect on people so that more people can find that "Pride" for themselves and realise that life is good and they can make it. I guess that's kind of my whole point to this blog. I'm not doing it for selfish reasons, that's not why I want my music out there, I want to make a difference in even a few lives and then it's all worth it.
07 March 2013
Surprise! . . .or Not so Much
I had a completely different idea in mind for this post until last night. Now it's story time!
Last night we had the opportunity to sing an Anglican Evensong here in Logan which was really cool. Afterwards I had a recital to go to then plans for dinner with a few friends. When I arrived at my friends house they actually were throwing me a surprise party - though not so much a surprise. I had kind of figured it out a week before that they were going to throw me a party either last night or tonight so I wasn't completely surprised by it all. I felt a little bad because I know my friend had put a lot of thought and effort into the party, but she didn't hide things as well as she should have. Besides, I'm kind of nosy and a little too observant sometimes. It made my night, regardless!
I also finished this song last night. The first half I wrote probably around 2 years ago and never finished it so I decided to try and finish it last night. It's nowhere near perfect, but you can let me know what you think. It may or may not be the last one for a while since there has been a computer error on my old computer and all my old songs may be lost (yeah, I'm a little freaked out about that).
So you all know, I really appreciate everyone who has been listening and giving feedback. Though I don't like to share it, music has little point if no one hears it. I love the world! :)
Prelude in F Major
Last night we had the opportunity to sing an Anglican Evensong here in Logan which was really cool. Afterwards I had a recital to go to then plans for dinner with a few friends. When I arrived at my friends house they actually were throwing me a surprise party - though not so much a surprise. I had kind of figured it out a week before that they were going to throw me a party either last night or tonight so I wasn't completely surprised by it all. I felt a little bad because I know my friend had put a lot of thought and effort into the party, but she didn't hide things as well as she should have. Besides, I'm kind of nosy and a little too observant sometimes. It made my night, regardless!
I also finished this song last night. The first half I wrote probably around 2 years ago and never finished it so I decided to try and finish it last night. It's nowhere near perfect, but you can let me know what you think. It may or may not be the last one for a while since there has been a computer error on my old computer and all my old songs may be lost (yeah, I'm a little freaked out about that).
So you all know, I really appreciate everyone who has been listening and giving feedback. Though I don't like to share it, music has little point if no one hears it. I love the world! :)
Prelude in F Major
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)